What to do???

How do you know what is best for your child? I am doing good to figure out what is best for me most days much less the rest of my family. Child Development is one thing that I feel like I know. It is hard when you know that you have a child with some special issues and the rest of the world just views him as a brat. I see it everyday, the looks and disgust for me on their faces. The sad thing is it is only going to get worse. I have the ability to change his environment now, but what happens next year when he is in kindergarten and I don't have any control over his environment or his teacher?
How do I help others see the bright and very funny child that he is? If they only stopped and talked with him, they would see it. Don't they see his interests? Even the lady at Sam's knows that he loves firemen. He has worn a firehat for 1 year now. Would it be so bad to let him wear it on the day that the firemen come to school? He told me on the way home that there was a fire hose and fireman coats and hats in the block center today and then he said, with tears in his eyes, "I couldn't play with it, not even today." It broke my heart. He knew it was a special day but they don't see that they are killing his spirit. So he doesn't pick up toys as fast as the other children and he sometimes is doing his own thing. Isn't it a teachers job to teach children how to do the things that they don't know? As I try to read this through my tears, I wonder what I am supposed to do. Do I leave him in a place that is supposed to be the best school in this state? I know that he is learning some things there, but at what expense? He will get the Occupational Therapy that I know he needs if he stays there and he will get to be part of the social emotional pilot program that will be there, but I can't help but wonder if I am doing the right thing.