The Many Faces of Zander

Look at that face. I know that I am partial, but who could not love that child. You can just see the love oozing out of him. I remember the first time that I realized that my child was different from the others. I had worked with young children for many years and I always loved the moment that their parent arrived and they ran to them and hugged or even kissed them. Zander has never done that. Don't get me wrong, he is a very loving child, but on his terms. He gives me kisses and hugs but they came much later than toddlerhood.
He didn't talk much when he should have been talking, but I think he was listening because when he started, he never stopped and he talked in complete sentences. He also never talked "baby talk". He sounded like an adult with the words that he would use and the things that he would say. I remember when the babysitter showed him Disney's Jungle Book. He became obsessed with it and learned every word in the movie. When we read the book, he memorized the story. We would be in the car and he would just start reading the book from memory without the book. We all thought it was so cute and he did it with other things too. He has had several obsessions since then... the Japanese chef, fireman, Star Wars and he is now transitioning much to my dislike to Transformers.
I can't remember all of the things that made me start to suspect that Zander was different. I have been fighting with anyone that would listen since before he turned 3 to try to get an evaluation so that we could get some intervention for Zander. Early intervention is so important for success in school and later in life. By the time I finally got someone to listen, we were put on really long waiting lists. Our number has finally come up. We have an evaluation on the last day of the month with TEACCH http://www.teacch.com/regionalcenters/greensboro/welcome.html. They are the local authority on Autism and related conditions. We also have an appointment with a nationally known developmental psychologist next month. It has been such a long wait and I have mixed emotions. I am not a writer and I am writing through tears tonight which doesn't help. Who wants to put a label on their child? It is the last thing that you want, but without it, there is no help. The schools will not do anything.
He had another rough day at school. Kindergarten is supposed to be a fun year. I thought the main focus of the first year was learning social skills and how to follow rules and be part of the class. Apparently, I was wrong. Someone forgot to tell me that Kindergartner's are supposed to know all of that already as well as many other academic things. Forget it if your child has any issues. I put Zander in a non-traditional school that has a high population of special needs children because of the arts approach and hands on approach to learning. He is not doing well. It scares me to think how it would be in a traditional school. He would never make it, so we have to make this work. I have tried so hard to explain to the educators at the school how lacking he is in social skills and when he says or does something that is inappropriate, they need to help him and give him the words or actions that are appropriate. There approach however, is to send him to the office. Where he sits, and misses playtime. It is never a good idea for the child that can't sit still to miss playtime.
He was sent to the office twice today. The first time was at 8:20. School starts at 8:15. I don't know how to help him. He looked at his teacher and said, "you never tell my Mom anything good that I did." Quite and observation for a 5 year old. When we sat down in the office to get my referral form to the principal, he looked at me and said, "I am trying so hard to be good, I don't know why they send me to the office." He then started to cry. His self-esteem is really starting to suffer.
I want people to understand Asperger's and Sensory Processing problems. These children are not brats, and their behavior is not from poor parenting. The numbers for Autism are so high now the public has to pay attention and learn how to deal with these children. I don't know what our diagnosis is going to be and I don't know what the future holds for Zander. I do know that I have got to stop crying and advocate for him everyday if necessary. I am going to go steal a hug from my sweet boy if I can tear him away from his Transformer video game that is.