Cousin Christmas Visit

The cousins have arrived and we are having so much fun. On Monday we took a hayride with PaPa and went on a treasure hunt with his metal detector. We found some tin foil, a shoe heel and a few other things just as valuable. Yesterday we went to the movies to see Tangled. Everyone enjoyed the movie. Then all of the kids came home with me. We took jacuzzi baths and played spa. The boys of course didn't tear themselves away from the video games until it was time for bed. Everyone had a great time. Aunt Sherri is tired.

Breakfast with Santa

When Zander was first diagnosed with Autism, we were lost. Even though I had been doing research for a couple of years, I didn't know where to start in our community. I was able to find an organization called The Family Support Network. They have been a lifesaver for us. They have a lending library and once a month we go to a support group to talk with other parents of children with special needs. They sponsor this group and always bring in a speaker for education and to answer questions. They provide supper and playtime for the children. Zander always looks forward to it. They also help with preparation for IEP meetings etc. Today the FSN sponsored Breakfast With Santa. It is open to any family in our county that has a child with any kind of special need.
We weren't sure quite what to expect, but we were very pleasantly surprised. When we arrived we were given name tags and an appointment with Santa. Then we got in line for the delicious buffet breakfast. Our friends Ms. Jane and her family were there also so that was comforting to Zander. After we ate we went to see Santa. He sat on his lap and "Placed his order". That is funny but that is really what he thinks he is doing.
After that they had many stations set up for the children to make ornaments, play games for prizes and a jump house. They even had a big stocking with goodies for each child. There were a lot of volunteers and I was very happy to see that most of them were teenagers. When we were leaving he said that was the best festival ever. So, I think it was a success.
Oh yeah, one of the stations was for writing a letter to Santa. I found that funny since he was sitting right beside of the table but the children didn't seem to question it. Zander wrote a letter because he forgot something on his order. Here is his letter.

Sorry, it won't let me turn the picture but it says, "Santa, I forgot to tell you, I want....."

"An electric guitar, Zander"

Christmas lights

Last Saturday was time to put up all of the Christmas decorations. Zander was Daddy's helper. He was able to get on the ladder with Daddy's help and put the lights on the hooks. He thought he was something! That's my big boy!

Cooking night

Last month we were able to attend cooking night at Zander's school. His school has been chosen as the only one in this area to participate in Michelle Obama's MOVE program to prevent childhood obesity. They already have their own garden that the children plant and take care of and they are composting school waste this year.
We had the pleasure of getting hands on cooking lessons with Chef Don McMillan. He was one of the chefs that went to consult with Mrs. Obama. He is quite famous in this area and opened The Stocked Pot. His son owns it now, but you can still go there and have cooking classes with him. Many of his recipes are on YouTube.
In the pictures above you can see Summers and Zander making vegetable flowers. We used carrots, radishes and zucchini. Then we made fruit and yogurt Popsicles.
In the next picture you can see Zander talking with Chef Don. I can only imagine what he was telling him.
The next picture was the most fun. He gave us these curvy sticks that had been soaked in cinnamon. They are called fruit sticklers. Next we had all sorts of fresh fruit. We cut it up and placed it on our sticks to eat. It is amazing how he will try new things in a situation like this . Our overall favorite dish was a bean dip and baked pita chips. It was delicious as well as healthy. I was very proud of him. He even tried Jicama although neither of us cared for it.
Our friends, Ms. Jane, Adam and JJ were also there and we able to cook with us. It was alot of fun and we hope to be able to participate next time.

Art

Zander's first grade class has been studying our city. They went downtown and got to go up to the top of one of the buildings and look out of the windows. He thought that was really cool. This is the picture that he drew of the skyline in art class.

Granny

Granny's 85th birthday

Granny's 88th birthday

I was just thinking today about how our family has made it through another year with all of family members. Most of the people that I know can not say that. For that we are blessed.
Zander and I drove by my great grandparents old home place today and I was telling him about when I used to visit there as a young girl. Now there are apartments there. We were talking about how "Granny" is his great grandmother and that he is very lucky to have her.
Most of my childhood memories revolve around my grandparents and things that we did with them and cousins growing up. We went to Granny's every Sunday for lunch and dinner. We stayed all afternoon and played and visited. We haven't been able to do that since Zander was 3. On some level he remembers eating there because he always asks her for those items when we go there, but I don't think he remembers anything else and that makes me sad. Now we go to Mom and Dad's on Sunday and it is alot of fun for me, but it is different because there isn't anyone for Zander to play with.
I just realized that things will never be the same. We all have our own families now and it is time to make our own traditions. I hope that Zander will look back and have fond memories of the things that we do now. At least he will have alot of pictures!

School Picture

It was recently time for Zander to have his first grade picture made. He asked to have his hair cut like Justin Beiber. I made the appointment with his normal stylist. She was not able to keep the appointment. She is the only person that I have found that Zander is comfortable with and that he will hold still for. Her boss said she would do it but her son had to have emergency surgery. School pictures were the next day and his hair was really long so I had to find someone. The only place I could find was Great Clips. We have never had a good experience with the sytlists at this place, but he needed a haircut. He told the lady what he wanted and she began to cut. When she was finished I didn't think it looked good but I thought maybe when I fixed it the next morning, it would look better. I got him up and put product in it and used a hair dryer to dry it toward his face and then sprayed it with hair spray. It looked good for all of 2 minutes and then looked like a 5 year old had cut his hair. It is horrible!
Then I put his clothes on him and he cried to wear a tie. The only ones that we have are a plaid and a white one. As you can see he chose the white one. He took a brush and combed his hair straight down. But, do you see the big smile on his face. He thought he was handsome and that was all that mattered. I think it is now my favorite picture.

Nieces

I usually get to spend time with my nieces and nephew over the course of a week at the beach and maybe one more week at Mom's. However this year they were only here for a week and came to my house for one night. So, needless to say what ever they wanted to do they pretty much did that night. We normally do jacuzzi bubble baths but since we were going swimming the next morning we skipped it this time. The boys wanted to play video games and the girls wanted to play spa. We set up a pedicure station complete with foot spa, nail station (Esirae) and I did hair. They had a ball. They read books and magazines while they had their foot spa, then moved to the hair styling station and nail painting station. We also put gems on their nails.
When the boys saw how much fun the girls were having they wanted pedicures too. I took pictures but promised them I wouldn't post them. As you can see, Wanda also participated. She chose red nail polish. When we finished, we ate pizza and junk food, played outside and had popcorn and a movie. Great fun was had by all, especially Aunt Sherri.

Outside fun

I am very behind in blogging as this was the cousin visit in early August. However, all of the kids came to our house one night and we had alot of fun. These are pictures from the outside adventures. The boys had light saber battles and the girls enjoyed the arctic cat. The battery on the car was almost dead, but that didn't stop them. They pushed it up the hill, all climbed on and giggled all the way down. It looks like they didn't mind.

Hanging Rock

When my sister comes to visit every year we try to think of something special that would be fun for all of the cousins to do. I was trying to think of something that they hadn't done and I remembered Hanging Rock. Hanging Rock is a state park with hiking trails, beautiful waterfalls and a lake. As children we went swimming in the lake and really enjoyed it so we decided to give it a try. It was supposed to rain but ended up being a great day! Aunt Jennifer, Rehm, Charlotte, Eliza Claire, Ruby, Esirae, Zander, Brady, Riley, Rosie, Vicki, Alana, Summers and our friend Brian were in attendance.
It was just as I remembered. The lake was roped off and although you couldn't see the bottom, it was nice because you could see where it was shallow. We took buckets and nets and the kids chased fish and salamanders more than they swam. The adults actually got to stand in the water and catch up with each other. Esirae and Brian however took advantage of the shade. For some reason I was too lazy to take pictures at the lake but remembered to snap a few at our picnic lunch. Zander is already talking about wanting to go again.

Summers' Family

I write alot about my family on this blog but I would like to introduce our extended family on Summers' side. We were very fortunate to have his mother and grandmother come for a visit when dropping off Esirae this year. We don't see them often because great Grandma Rachael lives in Virginia and Grandma Sandi lives in WA state as does Esirae. They didn't get to stay for long but we crammed alot of memories and love into a few days.

Lost Tooth

Several weeks ago I had to work at the front desk at work. This is not my job and I am not used to having to deal with the phones and customers etc. I had 2 people waiting for services, the phone was ringing and a lady needed help with the laminating machine. During all of this my cell phone rings. Normally I just get the message later but the number was home and I knew that Esirae and Zander were home alone so I answered. The voice on the other end was Zander which was strange because number 1 he has absolutely no interest in the phone and number 2 he has never successfully looked at a phone number and been able to dial it. He said " Mom, I dialed the number all by myself!" I told him that I was proud of him but I was very busy at work. Then he started yelling, "Mom, my teeth are falling out of my head!" I told him that I found that very interesting since none of his teeth were lose before I left for work that morning and told him to put his sister on the phone. Esirae said that she had gone to take a shower and told him that she was in the bathroom if he needed her. He came in crying telling her that his tooth was falling out of his head and it was bleeding. He was panicking. She looked at it and he had snuck a piece of candy and bit on it and it made the tooth loose. Now when I say loose, I mean barely loose but in his mind they were all coming out.
He had absolutely no interest in messing with it for weeks but apparently some of the kids in his class lost some teeth this past week so he started wiggling his. Two days ago, Summers tried to pull it, but it hurt and started bleeding so we stopped. I wanted him to be able to pull it himself. Today when I got home, this is the cute smile that I found. It came out while eating his snack at school.

Summer Memories

There are some things that just remind me of summertime in my childhood. Caterpillars, watermelon, cardboard boxes (another time), tobacco and June Bugs. We stayed with my Granny during the summer. We being my sister and I and our cousins Vicki and Tracy. Pretty much we ate breakfast and went outside until the next meal. We had to find things to do. One thing we always like to do was fly June Bugs. Yes, I said fly June Bugs. I remember the first time Summers heard me tell this story. He still thinks I am crazy. First you had to catch the June bug, then tie a string around a back leg and then hold on to the string. That was easier said than done. You had to be quite talented to get the string on tight enough without cutting off the leg with the string. We were very serious about this. I remember one particular June bug named Charlie. When Granny called us in for lunch we put a rock on Charlie's string to hold him down until we came back outside. Unfortunately for Charlie, when we returned one of us stepped on him.
This Summer I thought I would teach Zander about June Bug flying. He is very funny around any type of bug. He is scared to death of them and it takes him quite some time to get up the nerve to touch one. He never was able to catch one so I had to help. Then we tied the string on and I gave him the string. He was very pleased with himself as you can see in the first picture. However, if you look very carefully in the second picture, you can see the string wrapped around his neck. The June bug flew around behind him and landed on his neck. He was mortified! Luckily the string came loose and the bug made a clean get away. He wasn't interested in catching another one and trying again. Well, I guess June bugs are no match for video games.

Woofstock 2010

Summers' band was asked to play again at Woofstock this year. This is a great fundraiser for the Humane Society. There are live bands, lots of vendors and food and many people bring their dogs. They have pools and mist tents set up for the dogs and many fun activities for the children. Zander's two favorite things this year were the balloons and the Krispy Kreme Dunking Station. At this station they gave free hot donuts that you could dunk in melted chocolate and then roll in sprinkles. Does it get any better than that? We had a few.
Summer's band was awesome and we stayed until the last band played. It came up a bad storm and we had to leave a little early. It was a great day and we hope to get to go again next year.

Six Years Old

Zander's sixth birthday was on May 18th. It is now well into July and I have not blogged anything about it. Sometimes I wonder how life gets so busy and why I am so busy doing other things. Well, here it is. Last years party at the park was so much fun that we decided to have it there again. We invited family and children from Zander's class at school. We have always done that in the past but not had any luck from children at school showing up. This year, much to my surprise about half of the class came. I was so excited for him.

Birthday parties are really hard for Zander even if it is not his special day. There is no routine and lots of ways to become over stimulated. He usually has at least one melt down. He did fabulous this time!! He got along great with all of his friends and the party was a success. Afterward, we followed tradition and went to his favorite Japanese steakhouse for dinner. What more could a six year old ask for!
HAppy birthday, sweet boy!

snow cream

Snow cream in May? Yes, that is right. CiCi promised Zander that we would have some snow cream and we are just now getting around to it. He helped her make banana snow cream. She had saved snow from the last big snow that we had. They mixed vanilla, banana, egg substitute and splenda. Next they added the snow. It was really good and a nice reminder of the snow that we had this winter.

Answers Revealed

     I haven't posted in awhile, because I just haven't been able to face this topic. Autism....a very scary word. I have known for a very long time that Zander was special in many ways. We all want the best for our children and half of the battle is finding out what they need and the other half is providing it. It is very frustrating reading everything you can get your hands on and self diagnosing your child and not being able to get a medical diagnosis. Becuase we are not finacially well off, we had to go the route of the pediatrician and the school system. It has taken almost 3 years to work this system and finally get the diagnosis that Zander needs to receive services in our school system. I have resigned myself to the fact that I will not be able to provide private services for him, so I will continue to advocate for him and fight the system if necessary to get everything he needs.
     I jumped ahead a little bit. I thought that he would receive 1 diagnosis, but he actually ended up with four. Sensory Processing Disorder, Motor Coordination Disorder, ADHD combined type and the dreaded Autism Spectrum Disorder. I expect the ASD will eventually be Asperger's Syndrome when we receive an IQ score. The school system will be doing that test next week. I still can't really say it out loud without getting emotional. I didn't expect that since I thought I had prepared myself for that. According to everything that I have read, you actually go through a greiving process when you receive the diagnosis and have to accept that your child is not a typically developing child. High functioning autism is really difficult because, it is not obvious to an outsider that a child has autism. I get the stares and the rolling of eyes from other parents that think I am not disciplining my child. I don't pretend to have all of the answers and everyday is a challenge and I learn something new.
     Zander is the sweetest, most loving child I have ever met. I enjoy every minute with him and treasure my time with him. We will continue to fight this battle together and I know that he will succeed. He sees the world in a different way and I am enjoying the view from his eyes.

The Many Faces of Zander

Look at that face. I know that I am partial, but who could not love that child. You can just see the love oozing out of him. I remember the first time that I realized that my child was different from the others. I had worked with young children for many years and I always loved the moment that their parent arrived and they ran to them and hugged or even kissed them. Zander has never done that. Don't get me wrong, he is a very loving child, but on his terms. He gives me kisses and hugs but they came much later than toddlerhood.
He didn't talk much when he should have been talking, but I think he was listening because when he started, he never stopped and he talked in complete sentences. He also never talked "baby talk". He sounded like an adult with the words that he would use and the things that he would say. I remember when the babysitter showed him Disney's Jungle Book. He became obsessed with it and learned every word in the movie. When we read the book, he memorized the story. We would be in the car and he would just start reading the book from memory without the book. We all thought it was so cute and he did it with other things too. He has had several obsessions since then... the Japanese chef, fireman, Star Wars and he is now transitioning much to my dislike to Transformers.
I can't remember all of the things that made me start to suspect that Zander was different. I have been fighting with anyone that would listen since before he turned 3 to try to get an evaluation so that we could get some intervention for Zander. Early intervention is so important for success in school and later in life. By the time I finally got someone to listen, we were put on really long waiting lists. Our number has finally come up. We have an evaluation on the last day of the month with TEACCH http://www.teacch.com/regionalcenters/greensboro/welcome.html. They are the local authority on Autism and related conditions. We also have an appointment with a nationally known developmental psychologist next month. It has been such a long wait and I have mixed emotions. I am not a writer and I am writing through tears tonight which doesn't help. Who wants to put a label on their child? It is the last thing that you want, but without it, there is no help. The schools will not do anything.
He had another rough day at school. Kindergarten is supposed to be a fun year. I thought the main focus of the first year was learning social skills and how to follow rules and be part of the class. Apparently, I was wrong. Someone forgot to tell me that Kindergartner's are supposed to know all of that already as well as many other academic things. Forget it if your child has any issues. I put Zander in a non-traditional school that has a high population of special needs children because of the arts approach and hands on approach to learning. He is not doing well. It scares me to think how it would be in a traditional school. He would never make it, so we have to make this work. I have tried so hard to explain to the educators at the school how lacking he is in social skills and when he says or does something that is inappropriate, they need to help him and give him the words or actions that are appropriate. There approach however, is to send him to the office. Where he sits, and misses playtime. It is never a good idea for the child that can't sit still to miss playtime.
He was sent to the office twice today. The first time was at 8:20. School starts at 8:15. I don't know how to help him. He looked at his teacher and said, "you never tell my Mom anything good that I did." Quite and observation for a 5 year old. When we sat down in the office to get my referral form to the principal, he looked at me and said, "I am trying so hard to be good, I don't know why they send me to the office." He then started to cry. His self-esteem is really starting to suffer.
I want people to understand Asperger's and Sensory Processing problems. These children are not brats, and their behavior is not from poor parenting. The numbers for Autism are so high now the public has to pay attention and learn how to deal with these children. I don't know what our diagnosis is going to be and I don't know what the future holds for Zander. I do know that I have got to stop crying and advocate for him everyday if necessary. I am going to go steal a hug from my sweet boy if I can tear him away from his Transformer video game that is.

New Swing

I have wanted to get Zander a swing for a long time, but haven't ever decided where we wanted to put it or what kind to get. I saw this one at Target the other day and it was less than $15. You do have to have a tree the right height to hang it from, but he has had a ball. These are some pictures of him learning to swing on it the first day with his buddies from next door.