Woofstock 2010

Summers' band was asked to play again at Woofstock this year. This is a great fundraiser for the Humane Society. There are live bands, lots of vendors and food and many people bring their dogs. They have pools and mist tents set up for the dogs and many fun activities for the children. Zander's two favorite things this year were the balloons and the Krispy Kreme Dunking Station. At this station they gave free hot donuts that you could dunk in melted chocolate and then roll in sprinkles. Does it get any better than that? We had a few.
Summer's band was awesome and we stayed until the last band played. It came up a bad storm and we had to leave a little early. It was a great day and we hope to get to go again next year.

Six Years Old

Zander's sixth birthday was on May 18th. It is now well into July and I have not blogged anything about it. Sometimes I wonder how life gets so busy and why I am so busy doing other things. Well, here it is. Last years party at the park was so much fun that we decided to have it there again. We invited family and children from Zander's class at school. We have always done that in the past but not had any luck from children at school showing up. This year, much to my surprise about half of the class came. I was so excited for him.

Birthday parties are really hard for Zander even if it is not his special day. There is no routine and lots of ways to become over stimulated. He usually has at least one melt down. He did fabulous this time!! He got along great with all of his friends and the party was a success. Afterward, we followed tradition and went to his favorite Japanese steakhouse for dinner. What more could a six year old ask for!
HAppy birthday, sweet boy!

snow cream

Snow cream in May? Yes, that is right. CiCi promised Zander that we would have some snow cream and we are just now getting around to it. He helped her make banana snow cream. She had saved snow from the last big snow that we had. They mixed vanilla, banana, egg substitute and splenda. Next they added the snow. It was really good and a nice reminder of the snow that we had this winter.

Answers Revealed

     I haven't posted in awhile, because I just haven't been able to face this topic. Autism....a very scary word. I have known for a very long time that Zander was special in many ways. We all want the best for our children and half of the battle is finding out what they need and the other half is providing it. It is very frustrating reading everything you can get your hands on and self diagnosing your child and not being able to get a medical diagnosis. Becuase we are not finacially well off, we had to go the route of the pediatrician and the school system. It has taken almost 3 years to work this system and finally get the diagnosis that Zander needs to receive services in our school system. I have resigned myself to the fact that I will not be able to provide private services for him, so I will continue to advocate for him and fight the system if necessary to get everything he needs.
     I jumped ahead a little bit. I thought that he would receive 1 diagnosis, but he actually ended up with four. Sensory Processing Disorder, Motor Coordination Disorder, ADHD combined type and the dreaded Autism Spectrum Disorder. I expect the ASD will eventually be Asperger's Syndrome when we receive an IQ score. The school system will be doing that test next week. I still can't really say it out loud without getting emotional. I didn't expect that since I thought I had prepared myself for that. According to everything that I have read, you actually go through a greiving process when you receive the diagnosis and have to accept that your child is not a typically developing child. High functioning autism is really difficult because, it is not obvious to an outsider that a child has autism. I get the stares and the rolling of eyes from other parents that think I am not disciplining my child. I don't pretend to have all of the answers and everyday is a challenge and I learn something new.
     Zander is the sweetest, most loving child I have ever met. I enjoy every minute with him and treasure my time with him. We will continue to fight this battle together and I know that he will succeed. He sees the world in a different way and I am enjoying the view from his eyes.

The Many Faces of Zander

Look at that face. I know that I am partial, but who could not love that child. You can just see the love oozing out of him. I remember the first time that I realized that my child was different from the others. I had worked with young children for many years and I always loved the moment that their parent arrived and they ran to them and hugged or even kissed them. Zander has never done that. Don't get me wrong, he is a very loving child, but on his terms. He gives me kisses and hugs but they came much later than toddlerhood.
He didn't talk much when he should have been talking, but I think he was listening because when he started, he never stopped and he talked in complete sentences. He also never talked "baby talk". He sounded like an adult with the words that he would use and the things that he would say. I remember when the babysitter showed him Disney's Jungle Book. He became obsessed with it and learned every word in the movie. When we read the book, he memorized the story. We would be in the car and he would just start reading the book from memory without the book. We all thought it was so cute and he did it with other things too. He has had several obsessions since then... the Japanese chef, fireman, Star Wars and he is now transitioning much to my dislike to Transformers.
I can't remember all of the things that made me start to suspect that Zander was different. I have been fighting with anyone that would listen since before he turned 3 to try to get an evaluation so that we could get some intervention for Zander. Early intervention is so important for success in school and later in life. By the time I finally got someone to listen, we were put on really long waiting lists. Our number has finally come up. We have an evaluation on the last day of the month with TEACCH http://www.teacch.com/regionalcenters/greensboro/welcome.html. They are the local authority on Autism and related conditions. We also have an appointment with a nationally known developmental psychologist next month. It has been such a long wait and I have mixed emotions. I am not a writer and I am writing through tears tonight which doesn't help. Who wants to put a label on their child? It is the last thing that you want, but without it, there is no help. The schools will not do anything.
He had another rough day at school. Kindergarten is supposed to be a fun year. I thought the main focus of the first year was learning social skills and how to follow rules and be part of the class. Apparently, I was wrong. Someone forgot to tell me that Kindergartner's are supposed to know all of that already as well as many other academic things. Forget it if your child has any issues. I put Zander in a non-traditional school that has a high population of special needs children because of the arts approach and hands on approach to learning. He is not doing well. It scares me to think how it would be in a traditional school. He would never make it, so we have to make this work. I have tried so hard to explain to the educators at the school how lacking he is in social skills and when he says or does something that is inappropriate, they need to help him and give him the words or actions that are appropriate. There approach however, is to send him to the office. Where he sits, and misses playtime. It is never a good idea for the child that can't sit still to miss playtime.
He was sent to the office twice today. The first time was at 8:20. School starts at 8:15. I don't know how to help him. He looked at his teacher and said, "you never tell my Mom anything good that I did." Quite and observation for a 5 year old. When we sat down in the office to get my referral form to the principal, he looked at me and said, "I am trying so hard to be good, I don't know why they send me to the office." He then started to cry. His self-esteem is really starting to suffer.
I want people to understand Asperger's and Sensory Processing problems. These children are not brats, and their behavior is not from poor parenting. The numbers for Autism are so high now the public has to pay attention and learn how to deal with these children. I don't know what our diagnosis is going to be and I don't know what the future holds for Zander. I do know that I have got to stop crying and advocate for him everyday if necessary. I am going to go steal a hug from my sweet boy if I can tear him away from his Transformer video game that is.

New Swing

I have wanted to get Zander a swing for a long time, but haven't ever decided where we wanted to put it or what kind to get. I saw this one at Target the other day and it was less than $15. You do have to have a tree the right height to hang it from, but he has had a ball. These are some pictures of him learning to swing on it the first day with his buddies from next door.

Happy Valentine's Day

How sweet! Who could resist that smile and a homemade Valentine? But wait, it is not for Mom, it is for "his love, Paisley". He spent so much time on it. For some reason the picture of the inside turned out really small and you couldn't see it so I didn't post it. It had a cut out heart with his picture in it and all of his favorite stickers. She also got a Transformer Valentine. I guess I have been replaced.

Game Day

One of my favorite memories from my childhood is playing games with my family. It is still my favorite thing to do on any holiday or family get together. Some of my fondest memories are the games that I played with my Uncle Steve and my Grandpa.
On Sunday's, since my Grandmother stopped having all of us for lunch, my Mom has been cooking. We eat lunch and then play dominoes usually. Recently, they purchased a Carrom board. If you are not familiar with it, each person has a shooter and you try to shoot your team color into the pockets. This was my favorite childhood game. My Grandfather was a serious competitor and expected you to play well. I always played on the other team. It is alot of fun and Zander has even taken an interest in it.

Graduation

This is Zander's preschool graduation picture and my kindergarten graduation picture. Do you think we look alike?

Our date

Zander and I had a date today. We haven't been out of the house much this week and I couldn't face another day here. Zander of course would have been happy to stay here all day, but we needed to get some exercise. I told him if he went to the mall with me and walked around for awhile, we would go to Chuck E. Cheese. I don't know what I was thinking. I hadn't been to the mall in over a year so there were alot of stores that I wanted to check out. We walked and walked. He spotted one of those jumping things. I have no idea what it is called. There are bungee cords over trampolines. He had a ball. He jumped so high that he was at the second level.
Next we went to Brookstone and checked out all of the massaging chairs. Zander tried an ear massage. You can see from his expression that he thought that was really cool.
Next we went to Chuck E. Cheese as promised. I forgot that everyone had been stuck inside for over a week and they all must have had the same idea that I did. It was so crowded that you really couldn't even play the games. He didn't mind though. We earned a few tickets and was able to get one of those huge colorful suckers. He was a happy camper. It is nice to be home.

Snow

We have had 3 major storms so far this Winter. That doesn't sound like alot but we are not used to that much snow and ice. Last weeks storm was by far the most fun. We had around 10 inches of perfect snow. This picture is from day 4. We went over to my cousin Marty's house and used his hill. I have never been sledding like this and it was fun. We used to ride inner tubes down Mom and Dad's front yard when we were younger, but this was a serious hill. You can't tell it in these pictures but it was very steep. It took forever to walk back up after you slid down.
This is one of my favorite pictures. Zander was exhausted and the last few times down, Summers just threw him over his shoulder and walked back up. We all had a great time, but I am ready for Spring.

Peter and the Wolf

Zander's class and the 2 other kindergarten classes presented Peter and the Wolf with students from the School of the Arts. The School of the Arts dancers had the lead roles and then the children acted out the story with them through dance. There were live instruments helping to tell the story. It was really a good show. I couldn't figure out how they were going to tell the story with near 60 children, but they did and all of the children were involved. Zander made it through the show without correcting anyone. He sat against the wall beside of the main wolf until it was their turn. He kept talking to him and the wolf had to keep telling him to be quiet. Imagine that. Here is a link to a short video of Zander's performance. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Kt2VCbOASM

Workermen

Zander's class will be doing the play Peter and the Wolf this week. They needed a tree for the play and asked Summers to make it and some steps. Zander was so cute. He went in his room and got all of his power tools and put them in his tool case and took them outside. He also got his safety googles and put them on. He was so proud that he was strong enough to lift the wood and help his Daddy. Shortly after these pictures were taken, the two children from next door came over with a blue print that they all have been working on for a dog house for Wanda. I wish I had thought to take a picture of it. It was very well thought out and a pretty good diagram. They sawed and hammered and had a great time that is until Zander ran over the little boy with arctic cat. Summers had had enough at this point and it was time for Daddy's helper to come inside.

Snowman

Once a month, Zander's class hangs up artwork over their hook in the hall. This month was a snowman. Bet you can't figure out which one is Zander's. Grandma Sandi, we need some art lessons! He was quite proud of it and the fact that his had a yellow hat and looked different than the rest. He is just as unique as his snowman. This week he will be the wolf in the production of Peter and the Wolf. I can hardly wait to see his interpretation. Pictures to come soon.

No TV???????

I was taking Zander to school this morning and we were talking about his Daddy not feeling well. He asked me if he got sick would he have to stay in bed all day. I told him that when you have the flu you don't feel like doing anything but staying in bed or sleeping. I started telling him about when I was his age and sick and he couldn't believe it. He asked me if I watched TV while I was in bed and I told him that we didn't have TV's in our rooms back then. CiCi would take me to the couch and let me watch TV, however, there were only 3 channels and there were only grown up shows, no Noggin! Then I told him that you had to get up and turn the knob to change the channel.
Next he asked me if CiCi pup DVD's in for me to watch. I tried to explain that there was no such thing as DVD or VCR. He said, "I bet you were glad you could play your video games!" He couldn't believe it when I told him there were no video games. He was quiet the rest of the way to school, I guess contemplating how horrible my childhood was. Strangely enough I don't think of it that way. It was a simpler time. I remember when I was sick and couldn't go to school and my parents had to work, Granny would take me with her to the tobacco barn and I would lay on the tobacco bags on a quilt all day while she sacked the tobacco. I can still smell the dust to this day as I think about it.
I wonder what things like pay phones etc. that our children will never know?

Possum

We were coming home from Mom's tonight and Zander was very quiet in the backseat. The conversation went something like this;
Mom:  Zander are you asleep?
Mom: Zander are you asleep? Waits for a few seconds.
Mom: Zander are you playing possum? (Still no response)

After a minute or so, Zander said, "I am not asleep, I was ignoring you."
Mom: Oh, that is why I asked you if you were playing possum, that is what they do."
Zander: Really, they ignor their moms too?
Mom: No, (laughter) they pretend to be asleep or dead.
Zander: Oh.

Christmas Day

We are blessed. I have been quite depressed the last few weeks and not looking forward to Christmas. Our finances have been such this year that there wasn't any money for presents. We were able to buy Zander the 3 things that he "ordered" from Santa with money that he received from Grandma's. I was watching this video later on Christmas Day and I realized that I was crying. I looked under the tree at the few things that he had and was sad. But, then I realized that he was happy and I should have been happy also. After all, we made it through another year without losing any family members. I then read the obituaries for two young people that we knew that were to be buried this week and thought about their families and  children and how sad they must be this Christmas and probably each Christmas to come.
It made me think about New Year's Eve the year that my Grandfather died. It was the first year that I didn't go to my Grandparents house that night with the rest of the family. I chose to go out with some friends instead. I got the call about 11:15 telling me to come to the hospital. They waited until we were all there and right around midnight they came in and told us that he didn't make it. Every year on New Year's Eve we all gather and instead of it being a joyful time, there are very sad undertones to the whole evening, but we are all together. It is never easy to lose a loved one, but it is especially hard to lose one on a holiday.
I went on to Uncle Steve's house and smiled as I looked around at all of the family members that could gather there on that day. (We missed you Aunt Jennifer and family) The kids had a great time playing together and the grown ups ate way to much, watched Christmas Vacation 2 times and had fun playing Pictionary. It was a great day after all and I am very thankful for my family.
Oh, about Zander's order. When I took Zander to see Santa this year, he got on his lap and Santa asked him what he wanted for Christmas. Without thinking he said, "I would like to order, a Megatron, Optimus Prime and a green light saber." I have tried several times to tell him that you don't place an order with Santa, you tell him things that you would like to have and he decides what to bring you. But when anyone asked what he wanted for Christmas, he continued to say, " I ordered........". It was really cute. Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to everyone from our family.

For you Mom

Sometimes in life, well most of the time, it is the small gestures that makes it all worth while. This has been a tough year for us as it has for most people and I haven't exactly been feeling the Christmas spirit. Summers and Zander got supplies together and made me this beautiful wreath. They put it together and Summers let Zander decorate it with what he wanted. He chose gold balls, feathers and black scratch off paper. I don't know if you can see it all in the picture but it was perfect. Then he wrote "To Mom" on a peice of paper and put it on the wreath. It is really special and Zander was so excited to give it to me. Merry Christmas!

Snow Fort

This is the snow fort or igloo. It took about 3 hours to build and we were all so tired that we took a big nap when we came in. We made it on Friday and part of it is still there the following Tuesday. Check out the video on my youtube channel, friendsmiling66

Big Snow

This is the first big snow that we have had since Zander was born. It snowed really hard yesterday. He played outside for a little while. This morning there was at leat 6 inches when we woke up. We ate breakfast and then got dressed and went outside to play. We went in search of the perfect hill and tried several but didn't find the right one. It was really hard to walk. There was so much snow that at times it came over my boots which were almost to my knee. At one point the snow pulled Zander's boot right off.
We went back to our yard and decided to build a snow fort. It was alot of fun. Pictures to come.